Do you ken this?

Whew, it’s only thanks to Stu, who I hardly know but who’s kind enough to include me in emails, that I have something to write about to kick this month’s posts off. Stu’s Glaswegian and as you’ll all know Glasgow has recently made the news for the attempted incineration of its airport via a jeep allegedly laden with propane tanks, petrol and bags of nails for good measure. The firestarters, if it does turn out they’re members of an al Queda cell, were clearly affiliates of its intellectually handicapped and technologically dyslexic wing. Driving your jeep into a barrier, realising your mistake in purchasing the detonators from the Two Dollar Shop, and then dousing yourself in petrol and lighting a match may seem like the thing to do if you’re a Buddhist monk protesting against dictatorships in South-East Asia, but it’s not likely to win too many admirers in Caledonia. They’d probably have caused more damage if they’d stayed in the SUV and driven around Britain for a couple hundred thousand kilometres.

Anyway, there’s a funny side to the story, and it’s brilliantly captured on this very quickly assembled website dedicated to John Smeaton, who was the airport worker standing outside the airport having a fag when the attackers drove into the barriers. As Stu says “Glasgow is probably the only city in the world where a member of the public would pick a fight with a suicide bomber”. He’s got the Glaswegian patter going, so non-Scots will have to listen carefully. Desiček added: “Not sure what the newsreader on FOX News in the USA made of the eyewitness who told her, ‘err wiz weans gaun mental aw ower the place, we jist pure bolted’”. Check out the comments on the site if you've got time. There are some real pearls there.