Friday, 1 June 2007

A Contribution

In order to stop Kivak from calling me a "lazy cunt" in email correspondences, I have decided to make a contribution to this lovely Blog. Did take the time yesterday while travelling from Lithuania to Vienna to read through most of the entries from February till now (speed reading through Kivak's more earnest Bolshie rants) and have a few observations most of which will surprise no one and only confirm that good old Kivak hasn't really changed too much since leaving CZ, which is comforting.

1. Still a raving left-wing loony (I dig that Bush countdown thing you've got here, by the way)

2. Likes a little porno in the workplace (Tip: if your next employer has installed WebMarshall, skip the porn break after lunch and buy a home PC where you can surf to your heart's content after the missus has retired for the evening)

3. Has a little issue with authority at work and has yet to win a Positive Contributor of the Year Award from any of his employers

4. Needs to take a few writing lessons from Rotten after he gets back in country

Having read all this I'm beginning to think Kivak needs to leave the public/government/NGO sector for good and get a job with a private company that involves selling something or otherwise making a lot of money for the bank/firm, whatever, while under a lot of pressure. Make sure you have a boss like Gordon "lunch is for wimps" Gekko from the movie Wall Street who really won't give a shit about you surfing naughty web sites, buttering the Kleenex or whatever else it was that got you in hot water with the boss lady at your last job, just as long as you make the numbers whatever it takes. Good advice, huh? Might change the old perspective on things.

Right. Onwards. Not much new to report from here. Was in Dallas last week, flew back at the weekend to Vienna, slept most of the way thanks to whacking down about 5 margaritas before boarding the flight to Frankfurt. Spent a few days in Vilnius with customers. Had one guy there on a reference visit from Romania. Lebanese bloke with a libido that would put Kivak's to shame back in the old days. Had to take him to a strip joint where he dropped about 600 EUR in drinks and "tips". What we have to do sometimes to make these people buy something.....Highly recommended destination, kivak go and adopt your brood of kids there. Here's what you should do: take Rita in the spring and summer and delegate all adopting responsibility to her, let her sort it out. You go and sit in a cafe (I'll tell you where) in the Old Town, order a strong pint of Lithuanian lager (5.5% alc to 15% which is basically malt licker) and watch the people (yes, I mean short skirts) go by for a few hours. After a few pints you'll love Lithuania too.

Now I'm home for a few days but will be out and about in Amsterdam and various East European destinations till mid-July. Tough on the family but I promised them a really, really nice summer holiday to make up for my absence next 5 weeks. Really nice, I promise....

Will end this entry with another recommendation: Berlin. Home of my pre-Liberazzi university days spent mostly studying and tasting German beers. Went up to meet an old friend from NYC, picked up Matt Griffon who some of you may know in Goerlitz and had a three day reunion sesh which culminated in this picture, taken Sunday morning a few weeks ago at around 7:30 AM after the last bar kicked us out. I decided a little Nemirof Ukrainian honey&pepper flavored vodka with a little tomato juice would be just the trick to end the evening (morning) on the right note. Credits to Matt for the creative photo editing. A few hours after this photo was taken he fled Berlin on a Dresden and Liberec- bound train, obviously not interested in spending another day with the likes of me.

I must sound like such a boozer. But this was a one-off. Really.

P.S. Kivak, thanks for the cards. I sent you one yesterday from the plane. A card you tear off the boxed lunch of Schweinebraten mit Sauerkraut & Semmelknoedel that Austrian Airlines served me. The stewardess is supposed to mail it for free so let's see if it indeed does make its way to the B..... estate down at L.... H....


Kivak said...

Well, you see, a little gentle badgering does work afterall. I'll have to give some more pointed gee-ups to the other linej parchanti, only there's someone inside my head right now trying to bludgeon his way out with a large mallet. A few too many feijoa vodkas last night and a smoke of something call 'white spider' allegedly from Lebanon. Your priapic mate know it?

tvc said...

what's feijoa vodka and white spider? You trying to kill yourself? Sounds awful. Guy from Lebanon wouldn't know it probably. He took one look around at the Vilnius eye candy and then proceeded to rip all the "night club" and "adult entertainment" pages out of the city guide in his hotel room. Luckily we ended up just spending his money in the titty bar, nothing more pernicious than that thankfully. Back to the Vodka, stick with Chopin Polish vodka or if you can get it, Russky standart premium. The Nemiroff I had in Berlin is a rare honey & pepper treat from Ukraine, excellent as a bloody mary base. The bottled pictured actually went back - still 3/4 full mind you - in my friend's luggage to New York to show off to his friends. Stick with the good stuff and you can't go wrong